Thursday, January 28, 2010

The woman told that she was too stupid to keep her baby boy


This is utterly unbelievable!

The Moses basket sits beside the bed, its new blankets carefully arranged awaiting its owner's arrival.

Piles of newborn baby clothes - mostly in shades of blue - lie neatly folded on a chair.

Like any new mother, Kerry Robertson spent weeks excitedly preparing for her first child's arrival - and yet 13 days after his birth, all the carefully arranged baby paraphernalia remains unused.

And yet today Kerry and her partner, Mark McDougall, 25, will finally be able to lay their son Ben down to sleep in the basket they bought for him with such hope.

Kerry Robertson

Loving mother: Kerry Robertson, 17, was told she would not be able to bring up her baby son Ben because she has mild learning difficulties

Kerry, who has mild learning difficulties, and Mark went on the run from their home in Fife, Scotland, last November after British social services said she was not clever enough to raise a child.

They hoped that by escaping to Ireland they would be left alone to be a family together. But when Ben was four days old, social workers caught up with them, marching into the maternity ward and forcing them to hand him over.

Only after a court hearing last Friday were the parents told they will get their child back - albeit under supervision.

Today, Kerry will move into a mother and baby unit where the 17-year-old will be under constant surveillance - but that is undoubtedly the lesser of two evils for the couple, given that they feared they might lose custody of the child they fought so hard to keep.

'To say it's been a roller coaster is an understatement,' says Mark. 'Witnessing them take Ben from Kerry made me cry. He was sleeping in her arms after his feed and looked so peaceful.

'I tried to argue with them, but they said no. It's only after they've read medical reports from the hospital, in which the midwives and medical staff said we are loving parents, that it appears they've decided we can have Ben back after all.

'Kerry will be able to care for Ben all day, every day and I'll be allowed to stay at the unit as often as I like.

'Needless to say, we can't wait to be reunited with our beloved son.'

This isn't the only battle the couple have fought to ensure Kerry leads a normal life.

She has been brought up by her grandmother since she was nine months old, with the care overseen by Fife social services.

But she says that, as an adult, there were no signs of the problems to come until social services heard she was pregnant and getting married.

Kerry Robertson

Devoted: Kerry and partner Mark McDougall, 25, pose proudly with their baby son. The couple fled to Ireland after social services said Ben would be taken away

Last September, in an unprecedented step, the couple's white church wedding was halted just 48 hours beforehand, in a row over whether Kerry was intelligent enough to marry.

Shortly after, Fife social services told the couple they believed that, because of Kerry's learning difficulties, her unborn baby would be taken into care.

The claim that Kerry is too stupid to get married or have a baby is something she and Mark, an artist, vehemently refute.

'Social services are ruining my life,' she says. 'First, I was stopped from getting married and then they took my baby.'

Kerry and Mark say she has never even had a formal psychological assessment. And the couple point out that before Kerry became pregnant herself, she worked as a childcare worker with children at a local school - and in fact, with considerable irony, holds a certificate in child care.

Kerry says: 'It's true I didn't get many qualifications at school, but I never had very good teaching.

'I did study for my childcare qualification, I can read and write. I send texts, go on the internet and do everything for myself.

'I usually cook for us. I chose most of the clothes for our baby and sorted out all the piles of nappies, tubs of baby creams and toys. I wanted everything to be ready for him when we brought him home.'

Indeed, upon first meeting, Kerry strikes you as no different to many other young woman. Slim and quirkily dressed, it's clear that, like anyone of her age, she loves to experiment with make-up and clothes.

Nevertheless, she is painfully shy - it is Mark's belief that it is this which gives social workers the impression her learning difficulties are worse than they are.

'Social services are ruining my life. First, I was stopped from getting married and then they took my baby'

But gain her trust and she chats away happily like any other teenager. In fact, I don't believe anyone meeting her in a group of young people would even identify learning difficulties.

As for Mark, he has an impressive clutch of GCSEs under his belt, as well as two As in his Highers - the Scottish equivalent of A levels - in art and English.

He is an accomplished artist who makes a reasonable living selling his sketches and charcoal pictures worldwide - he showed me a picture he drew of newborn Ben, and it is a very accurate likeness.

Mark says: 'Neither Kerry nor me have ever had any conviction for cruelty or violence. I don't understand why the authorities have treated us like this.'

So what is the truth?

The Mail, it must be stressed, is not privy to all the information social services hold on this couple. Kerry admits she is no Einstein, but she seems like any other teenager.

Seeing her with Mark, hand-in-hand on the sofa at their rented house in Ireland, some would say they seem more mature than many young lovers.

Binge-drinking, casual relationships and parties couldn't be further from their minds. Both say they prefer an evening in with friends. If anything, they could be described as somewhat old-fashioned.

Mark says: 'When we discovered Kerry was pregnant we wanted to get married. It was important to us that our baby was born to married parents.'

That wedding was set to take place in a church, organised by Mark's father, who had arranged for the congregation to produce a homemade buffet for their reception.

Although Kerry was brought up in the care of her grandmother, she comes from a close-knit community with a large extended family of aunts and uncles. Her younger brother, who's nine, still lives with her grandmother.

The couple met last January through friends. 'I certainly didn't think Kerry had learning difficulties,' says Mark.

'At first she just seemed quiet, but I soon discovered a quirky sense of humour, and that's what attracted me to her.'

Kerry Robertson's son Ben

Family: Ben was born on January 15 weighing 7lb 3oz

By March, they were a couple and the following month Kerry moved into Mark's one-bedroom flat. It was shortly after this that Kerry became pregnant.

Kerry says: 'When I told my grandmother I was pregnant, she got a care worker to take me to the GP.

'It was then that the care worker said to me: "You know you won't be able to keep this baby don't you?"'

Mark adds: 'It was only at this stage I realised how seriously social services viewed Kerry's so-called condition.

'It was a very upsetting time, as the care worker suggested to Kerry it might be better if she had a termination.

'But neither of us wanted an abortion. Kerry said she could never do that.'

So the couple pressed on with the pregnancy and, as they heard nothing more from social services, put their worries to the back of their minds.

Mark says: 'When Kerry was three months pregnant, we decided to marry.

'I bought Kerry an engagement ring - a little pink one with a diamond-type stone - and we held a party.'

The pair set the date for the wedding in September. Mark recalls: 'Kerry had bought her dress, the church was booked, a cake made and the reception organised.

'But two days before, there was a frantic knocking at our front door and we were confronted by two social workers who told us our wedding was illegal.

'Kerry and I were devastated, but we had no option but to cancel our big day.'

It later transpired Fife social services had made the extraordinary step of writing a letter of objection to the registrar, claiming Kerry was too dim to understand her vows.

The couple have since attempted to marry again, but have been told that, as an order is still in place, a wedding is forbidden.

But if that weren't enough, in October, when Kerry was five months pregnant, the couple were called into a meeting with social services and told their baby would be taken into care at birth.

Kerry says: 'I couldn't stop crying. By then, I'd already found out I was having a little boy and we had decided to name him Ben. I'd felt him kick inside me.'

Mark adds: 'There was no mention of trying to help Kerry or give her the chance to be a mum.

'At that time, they said Kerry would be allowed only a few hours with him. It seemed then he would go to foster parents, and there was the fear he would be adopted and we would lose him for ever.

'The care worker suggested to Kerry it might be better if she had a termination'

'It didn't seem to matter to social services that we loved one another and wanted to get married.'

The worry was so great that Mark began researching on the internet other cases in which parents had faced losing their babies in this way.

He says: 'I discovered that many couples had been forced to flee the UK and go to other countries where the authorities take a different view and are keen to keep families together.

'It seemed a huge step to take. Neither Kerry nor myself wanted to leave home, where we had family and support. But in the end we felt we had no choice.'

The couple decided to go to Ireland, where they believed their case would be looked on more sympathetically.

So in November, having held a tearful farewell gathering - and with just £200 in their pockets, a suitcase and a bag of sandwiches made by Kerry - the pair stole out of their house in the dead of night.

The couple made it to Belfast, where they stayed for eight weeks.

'Not having social workers knocking on our doors, wanting meetings all the time, was fantastic,' says Mark. 'For the first time in Kerry's pregnancy, we could enjoy it.'

The pair were financed by friends and family - although Mark continued to sell his artwork.

'I missed my grandma, my little brother and my family terribly,' says Kerry. 'It was hard to be away from them at Christmas. But I consoled myself that it would be worth it. I could hold Ben in my arms and not worry he would be taken.'

Kerry and Mark made the final leg of their journey to Waterford in the Republic of Ireland - which is not governed by UK laws - two weeks after Christmas, with the birth of the baby looming.

Kerry Robertson

Accomplished artist: Mark drew a sketch of his son while in hospital

There, with the help of a donation from a secret benefactor, they were able to find a safe house.

Mark recalls: 'We rented a beautiful little house. Waterford is a seaside resort and we decided to make a new life there.'

On Friday, January 15 at 8.41pm, their hopes were realised when, after a natural labour, Ben was finally born.

The happy couple took photos of their 7lb 3oz bundle. And for three days all appeared to be well.

Mark visited the hospital daily, and close friends who knew where they were sent congratulations cards. Meanwhile, Kerry took to breastfeeding and caring for Ben without any problems.

Behind the scenes, however, social workers were gearing up to strike.

Through medical records, the Irish authorities had discovered that social workers in Fife had an interest in Kerry.

'It seems they contacted Fife, who told them they feared because of Kerry's "disability" our baby could suffer physical or emotional neglect,' explains Mark.

The following Monday, the couple were told a social worker would visit them the next day, and at that point they were not unduly concerned.

'We are honest, so we were happy to co-operate fully,' says Mark. 'We would have been pleased to be monitored.

'Even putting Kerry into a home for new mums with babies so she could prove she can be a good mother would have been fine.

'We understood that the Irish social workers needed to make their own inquiries, and were perfectly happy to do whatever it took to keep Ben.'

So they were totally unprepared when, at the 9.15am meeting on the Tuesday, they were forced to hand over their baby. Since then he has been looked after by foster carers.

They have been allowed two-hourly visits with Ben. But even now, as they're about to be reunited with their baby, there is no denying that the episode has been highly distressing.

Kerry says: 'I was so upset when I saw him the first time with the social workers because he had a dummy in his mouth.

'I told them I didn't want him having a dummy. And he is being bottle fed, but I wanted to breastfeed him.

'I'm just so happy that I'll be with my baby. I don't know how long I'll be at the unit. I'll miss Mark if he's not allowed to stay over - but Ben comes first.'

There's no denying that she and Mark sincerely hope today heralds the start of life as a normal, happy family.




Share your Backyard!

There is a great new program that I want everyone to know about:

www.sharingbackyards.com

Imagine a world where everyone has plentiful access to healthy, local, organic food. The goal of the sharing backyards program is to further that goal by making sure that anyone who wants to garden and grow food for themselves can. One of the biggest barriers to growing food in the city is access to land. A full 40% of North Americans do not live in single detached housing where the yard space is unequivocally theirs. The other 60% who do have access to land in the cities often leave it underutilized.

Sharing Backyards encourages urban gardening by connecting those who have space to garden and are willing to share with those who would like to have a gardening space. The program makes maximum use of city space by making sure that even those who dwell in apartments, condos, and shared housing have ample place to garden. It connects neighbours of different socio-economic conditions together in a atmosphere of trust while doing something that beautifies the homeowner's yard and provides food for everyone.

So what makes an effective sharing backyards program? Location, location, location! Our program links people who are geographically close to each other. A garden that is close to where the gardener lives is more likely to receive the love and care it needs to thrive. Our system uses web-mapping technology to deliver a very intuitive interactive online map where users can instantly see which listings provides a potential partner.

If you enjoy delicious, fresh produce and have a sunny space to use, but maybe don't have the time or desire to till the earth yourself, consider sharing your yard and earn half of the yield!

If you live, or know someone who lives downtown, Liberty Heights, Sugarhouse; I am happy to share your backyard. Here are the benefits of sharing with me:

  • I will provide all of the tools, compost, amendments, seeds or seedlings and necessary time to grow delicious fruits and veggies.
  • I will assist with 25% of your total water bill each production month (not including sewer or trash since I make compost with all garden scraps)
  • I will assist with constructing raised beds or other yard projects that you would like completed to assist with the project.
  • You will receive half of the yield of produce
  • I will grow whatever foods you designate but I am not interested in non-food growing. I will grow any edible plants of fruit, vegetable or herbal variety.
  • I will provide all labor for said garden unless you desire to assist.
There you have it; you can hire an experienced gardener to help feed your family delicious and nutritious food from your very own land with little or no effort on your part.

Please pass this information on to anyone who is looking for land or someone to share theirs with.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I Has The Skillz To Pay The Billz....


In addition to a myriad of talents that I possess (those of both a lover and a fighter), I now have another formidable skill to add to the mix: Butter- Maker! Or Churn Master, if you will.

That's right ladies, I'm the whole package now!

I got a recipe out of Organic Gardening magazine that looked far too easy to be true and decided to try it out. Reading the article turned out to be more difficult than making the butter. I cannot believe I made it to thirty- six years old before learning such a ridiculously simple, not to mention fun, task. Why butter is even sold in stores is beyond me now...

As God is my witness, I will never buy butter again!

Here's a fun question for those of you not in the know:

How is butter made?

1.) By the Dairy Gods
2.) In a spaceship
3.) Using ONLY fresh unpasteurized cream straight from a cow
4.) Whipping cream
5.) Vitamin D milk
6.) It comes that way
7.) 3 & 4

The most obvious answer is, to the educated mind of course, number three. For all of you bright, intelligent folks that chose answer three, you would be WRONG.

The correct answer is seven. Yes, you can use fresh cream from a cow, which makes abutter that is knows as Raw or Pasture butter and is delicious and healthy, but with a higher fat content, I'm told.

The alternative for the Urban Churn Master is to use fresh whipping cream with at least a 35% milk fat content. I got mine at Costco, which has a guaranteed milk fat percentage of at least forty and no rbST hormones.

Put about 1 1/2 pints of the cream into a medium bowl, and put the whisk adapter on your trusty hand mixer (if you just have the standard beaters, that is fine, it just may take longer). I only used one whisk for my recipe for less clean-up. The set it on low for ten minutes.

First, you will make the recognizable whipped cream but just power through and keep going. The mixture will start to look like a yellowy (is that a word?) cottage cheese. Keep going and you will see that the bottom of the bowl will have a small pool of cloudy milk-water. Guess what that is?

Buttermilk!

Pour off the buttermilk and save for delicious fried chicken or biscuits. then start to press the little butter grains together and a tad bit more milk will come out. Pour that off, too.
Now you have a reasonable facimile of butter but it will sour if you don't 'wash' it.

Since it's currently winter in Utah, washing is quite easy, due to our lovely, cold mountain water. Turn on you tap until it's frigid and fill the bowl about halfway with the icy water. Then push and fold the butter to rid it of the vestiges of buttermilk. the water should get cloudy fast so dump it out and fill with fresh water. after two or three bowls, the water should run clear and you have honest-to-goodness, homemade, delicious butter.

Just add a Little bit of salt and you have the best butter you will ever taste. I over salted my first batch and had to mix it with the second two batches to even it out.

So there you have it, a wonderful skill that, although under-appreciated on the old resume, can create in you a sense of self-sufficiency and well- being for your family. The benefits from fresh butter are far greater than just a tasty treat. Real butter, in moderation, is far, far healthier for you than any margarine, which is, after all, just whipped oil with artificial flavoring.

Try spreading some Wesson on your toast and tell me how that tastes or how your heart feels after a week of it.

Now go make your butter, young Grasshopper...


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

My Birthday Wish List

I don't really enjoy my birthday and receiving gifts without giving something in return makes me uncomfortable, but I do have some items for my birthday wishlist this year.

None of these are really reasonable gifts that I expect to receive, but they are on my list for the next year, even if I have to buy them for myself:

1. A Greenhouse $1000-$2000- Since these are like a thousand bucks, I know that this is the most unrealistic of my dream items. I already have a small rolling shelf greenhouse that doesn't meet my needs. All I really want is a permanent structure that I can run heat and electricity to for my winter greens and seedlings. alternately, a sunroom porch off of the back of my house would also serve the same purpose, but since they run about 25K, I think even the greenhouse is more realistic.

2. Food Dehydrator $50-$75- My poor old Ronco electic dehydrator has seen it's last trays of dried food goodness. I want one of those compact square jobbies with like a dozen shelves. I also found a cool solar dryer that you hang in the sun, but I can only use that one on warm days; and there are a dearth of those in Utah from October-May.

3. Sky Scout $200- This is the coolest thing ever and it was also on my Christmas list. It's a pocket GPS astronomy lab. It knows where on Earth you are, and it can tell you everything about any star, planet or sun you point it at. They use these at the Salt Lake Astronomical Society Star Parties and they are awesome for fledgling astronomers.
We love heading into the desert to see the Persieds, Geminids and Aquarids meteor showers and this would be a great tool to use out there since the sky is like velvet pinpricked with a thousand pins of light.

4. Snowshoes $200- I have always wanted to snowshoe and have taken several intro courses but I haven't invested in the proper gear to keep me moving throughout the winter. My neighbor, Gin snowshoes and cuts and hauls her own firewood by toboggan (mine, which I lend her) but she is kind of strange and an alcoholic, so she has never invited me along even though I have shown significant interest.
I think it would be neat to break your own trail and get some exercise, even when the weather is uncooperative. I would love to trek to remote locations to practice and refine my wildlife and scenery photography skills.

5. A pocketknife- I know that this seems like the ultimate lesbian wish, but I've never been the wallet-in-the-back-pocket on a chain with a pocketknife carrying kind of girl. With all of the gardening and homesteading that we do, i often find myself searching for anything with a remotely dull blade to assist me in my chores.

6. Black Leather Driving Gloves- someone, who shall remain nameless (me), lost ONE of my cashmere lined gloves this winter. Do you know how irritating it is to have one warm, supple, butter-soft Italian leather glove? Take my (and Ghandi's) advice: if you lose one shoe or glove, take off the other one and throw it away with the lost one so that the man who finds it can at least use them both.

So there it is, my birthday 2010 wish list. I doubt anyone spends much time reading this anymore, as infrequently as I post, but at least my list is there for me to see.